Here comes the downward swing.
That brutal reminder of all my failings.
That brutal twist of the knife,
in my guts.
Deep inside my deep inside.
There is nowhere to hide when confronted
with
the confrontational reality of flaws,
floored by the truth.
Is it the drugs I abused?
Is it the truth I amused?
No matter.
No matter.
No matter.
Where is that shining light of joy
shivered body shake to music release?
Is it gone, along with the rest of the rot
that I at one stage forgot?
Pathways forward drove body in motion
emotion unable to process,
these painful regrets.
How do I escape this ever present noose around which my neck
is suffocated?
I want to be free of this
self repressed misery.
I want to be free of all of this.
But I cannot.
I have to rise my hands, my fists
and fight back,
dark anti light
that consumes me.
I have to be positive in these last few painful footsteps towards
Inevitable.
What other options are left?
None.
So break apart the entries towards self and shine acidic light into
and beyond.
Break into self and explore the exit.
You are gone, and with you
goes north guiding compass.
So much was built around the certainty that you would always be there.
But you are not.
You lied.
